


In Which Giving Narvin Drugs Somehow Makes Him Less Likely To Confess His Emotions Than Normal

by notveryhandy



Category: Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drugs, Multi, drug misuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24977470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notveryhandy/pseuds/notveryhandy
Summary: Surprisingly, giving Narvin ginger actually makes himlesslikely to confess his emotions than usual. When high, he just has a breakdown.Well doesn’tthatjust ruin all the fun.
Relationships: Irving Braxiatel/Narvin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	In Which Giving Narvin Drugs Somehow Makes Him Less Likely To Confess His Emotions Than Normal

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve only tagged ships immediately relevant to this piece of work or I’d be here a while.

If you weren’t aware, ginger acts like a drug for Time Lords. It is one of the few things that can intoxicate them, besides academic lectures and copious amounts of alcohol.

Okay, so that first one was a joke.

Mostly.

Look, the gist of it is that if you want to really bring down a high-and-mighty Time Lord, you should get them ginger. Such events have been transcribed below by me.

Who am I, you might ask? IIIIIIIII’M HIIIIIIIIGH!

Well. Anyway, moving on. Shall we begin?

* * *

The first step to causing chaos was of course giving Narvin ginger. This was easy enough, at least to begin with; all Leela had to do was say “Would you like some popcorn?”, smile like usual (read: like she was about to stab someone), and go about her day.

However, the results did not turn out as expected. Whereas the Doctor got hyper when given ginger, Narvin... did not. Now mildly concerned for his location, Leela found him just outside the Citadel having a breakdown.

“Narvin, are you alright?’ she asked, hiding the ginger popcorn awkwardly.

“I’m a disgrace!” he cried. “A _stain_ on Time Lord society!”

“Isn’t that more fun than being like normal ones?”

“I shall _never_ be whole _again!_ ” he wailed, and collapsed on the floor dramatically, spreading his arms wide. “Never again,” he whispered solemnly. “Never again.”

Leela sniffed and walked back to Romana’s office, dragging him by the ankle.

* * *

Convincing Brax to consume ginger was harder, since he had a (probably healthy) suspicion of any food Leela provided. On top of that, Brax intoxicated was a terrible, terrible idea and really, she should just go do this with Romana, shouldn’t she?

Nah. She had a knife if things got out of hand - if Brax really started causing chaos, she could stab him and then maybe Darkel just for the hell of it.

She got him intoxicated eventually, and oh, was it fun. Brax, who had previously been in his office doing ‘incredibly secretive things’ (like flirting with the nearest President), was now flirting with Narvin instead.

Wow. This really _was_ a bad idea. Still, it was really rather amusing to see Narvin blushing like that, although he was high, so.

Who next? Ah yes, Romana.

* * *

Romana did not take kindly to discovering a CIA agent being dragged over her carpet. She especially did not appreciate Leela eating popcorn loudly as said bemused spy tried and failed to stand up, and walk in a straight line.

On the other hand, she accepted the ginger popcorn without question. Ten points to Romana (yes, there was a scoreboard).

“Leela,” said Romana, suspiciously, “is this popcorn drugged?”

“No?” said Leela innocently. “Well, a little bit. Sort of?”

Romana sighed loudly. “Is that why Narvin- oh my gods. You gave Narvin ginger. Don’t tell me...”

“Braxiatel is currently in a bar, yes.”

“Did Narvin just head straight back to the bar,” Romana said flatly.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to stop him.”

“No,” she admitted through a mouthful of popcorn.

“Am I slurring my words.”

“...a little bit.”

The last thing Romana muttered before she started cracking bad jokes and passing out was a soft sigh of “I love you.”

If there was a “but not your popcorn,” there, Leela did not notice it.

* * *

The last step of the experiment was to check out on that bar again. Suffice to say, it had not gone down well.

Actually, it had gone down excellently, except for Narvin’s infuriating emotions - or rather his expression of them.

Brax, ever the completely hopeless gentleman (conman, actually), had pulled him into some sort of embrace, swinging over the tabletop and kissing him.

“I-“ Narvin squeaked, going red. “Brax, when did we start-” Any attempt at a coherent response was quickly dismantled by a) all the ginger (whoops) and b) being exposed to any form of emotion from other people.

Brax made a dramatic flourish, and hugged him. It was all very strange.

“Braxiatel! What are you- I don’t understand...”

Leela, possibly the worst matchmaker in the history of matchmakers (she probably thought they meant the flammable kind) snickered in the background.


End file.
